Fountain Of Nostalgia

A circular granite fountain about 3 meters in diameter graced with a triad of statues depicting the likeness of three elderly men. Inside the fountain is a large collection of change that is absolutely impossible to scrape off the bottom and the front of the fountain sports a bronze plaque embossed with the words "Ask your damn question, then go away". The fountain tends to appear at random times in random places, although it seems to have a preference for erupting through the floor of low class apartments at three o'clock in the morning.

Should somebody decide the ask a question, the three statues will become animated. After telling the questioner to go to hell, the old men will then begin to bitch incessantly and loudly about how modern times aren't as good as the old days, how kids today need discipline, and how they all had to walk 18 miles in waist high snow just to get to a job that paid them less than 15 cents a day. They will also argue amongst themselves about who had the most miserable life, who has the most nagging wife, and which of them was the biggest hero in World War II. After pissing and moaning for a little over an hour the fountain will turn into a large pile of oddly sticky sand that is nearly impossible to get out of your carpet.

Enchanted Zippo

A top of the line stainless steel Zippo lighter embossed with the words "Burning Down The House".

The Zippo will burn forever in the strongest of winds and the hardest of rainfall. Unfortunately, the moment anybody tries to actually use to light a candle, cigarette, stick of TNT, etc. the flame will puff out. In addition to this annoying habit, the Zippo also has the tendency of automatically popping open and lighting itself, especially if it happens to be in somebody's pocket at the time. The only real positive aspect the Zippo has is it's fairly reliable use as a torch, although sometimes the flame will suddenly grow to heights of nearly 2 meters and cycle through a large array of extremely tacky colors. After a period of two weeks, the Zippo will change into two packs of rather bland chewing gun.