Stone Falcon

The stone falcon is a rather large and heavy object, measuring about a half meter in height and weighing in at just over 50kg. It’s initial color is sorta off-white, but you can change it to any color you want simply by hosing it down with your choice of Krylon.

When a sufficient amount of bird seed is placed within 2 feet of the falcon it will instantly morph into the magnificent creature the statue was modeled after. When the falcon is finished with its meal, the individual who activated it is permitted to request that the bird fly to a single destination. After pondering the request momentarily, the bird will take flight, immediately return to its stone state after traveling no more than 20 meters, and crash dramatically to the ground, most likely shattering into 20 or 30 itty bitty pieces.

Box Of Iron Termites

While the Box Of Iron Termites is barely larger than your average cigarette box, it weighs nearly 25 kilograms and has a damage code of STR+2S, should anybody decide to use it as a throwing weapon. The box will only open after a person has fiddled with the lock for a minimum of 1/2 hour and emitted no less than 10 semi-severe snippets of profanity. Once opened, the box will expose 20 individual compartments, each containing a two centimeter long termite molded entirely from iron.

The termites contained within are completely sentient and have the equivalent of a 4 year college education. Other than being pretty good conversationalists, these iron insects are completely useless. They will never come out of the box or assist the box opener in any way, shape, or form. After the passing of 48 hours, the termites will eat the box itself and then vanish into thin air, leaving behind a small, unintelligible note that says, simply: “I wish I was in Phoenix”.

Pair Of Drama Masks

The Drama Masks artifact consists of a pair of pewter faces about .1 meters across, each sporting either a happy or sad expression.

The Drama Masks can only be activated by taking them to a theatrical production that has been on Broadway for a minimum of five seasons. At the end of the show the masks will become animated. The happy mask will scream out in utter elation at everything it sees, including gunfights or the sight of a puppy getting hit by a car. The sad face will begin weeping prolifically and occasionally ponder the feasibility of killing itself. The individual who activated the masks will be stuck with them for exactly 1 week. Even if he or she runs the masks through a blast furnace, they will simply reappear at the most inopportune moment the GM can think of. After 1 week, the masks will simply turn into a pair of ordinary buttermilk pancakes.